Classic Movie 'Avatar' Updated For Today's Audiences

The Onion reports on the latest Hollywood remake.

LOS ANGELES—Paramount Pictures confirmed Monday the Dec. 23 release date for Avatar 2KX, a remake of the beloved 2009 sci-fi thriller Avatar that will bring the story into the modern era with faster-paced action sequences and cutting-edge visual effects. "Avatar was a true classic of its time, but today's audiences demand a state-of-the-art immersive experience that goes beyond the kitschy charm of the original," said Paramount CEO Brad Grey, who ordered producers to cut 40 percent of the original script's dialogue, simplify the moral so that the humans are now the protagonists, and add several Na'vi sex scenes. "Our hipper, bolder, and updated movie is sure to resonate with younger generations and older fans alike." Grey had no comment on speculation that Avatar 2KX would feature cameos from one or more of the original film's surviving stars.

"There is many a true word spoken in jest." -- George Bernard Shaw

Starcrash (1979) trailer

Starcrash (1979) is best remembered for Caroline Munro running around in a leather bikini and The Hoff swinging a lightsabre, but it's not without its Easter eggs.

Seeing a cheesy Spaghetti Sci-Fi flick like this give a nod to Murray Leinster isn't as unusual as it might seem. Authors like Edmond Hamilton and others saw their later space operas first published in Italian magazines like Urania.

Tales of the Wonder Club

Tales of the Wonder Club, Volume 1 (1899) by Alexander Huth (as by M. Y. Halidom)

"The chief delight of this club was to tell or to listen to stories which were all more or less of the marvellous class, and which each took it by turn to relate to the rest, the strictest silence and order being preserved during the recital."



Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

Plinkett reviews nuTrek

Yesterday was the 44th anniversary of the premier of Star Trek, so to celebrate here's everybody's favorite serial killer turned film critic, Mr.  Plinkett, who's taking a break from slagging off Star Wars prequels to review nuTrek. Surprisingly he likes it, but not surprisingly he get's a little long-winded. However, he makes some good points, and the bit about the Enterprise's elevators is not to be missed. He even gives us some solid analysis, explaining why Star Trek is different from Star Wars and why nuTrek requires a "Star Wars mindset." [via Bam! Kapow!]

And the RiffTrax crew has given the film the MST3K treatment which is hilarious as usual.

The Year When Stardust Fell

The Year When Stardust Fell (1958) by Raymond F. Jones

"The story of man is the story—endlessly repeated—of a struggle: between light and darkness, between knowledge and ignorance, between good and evil, between men who would build and men who would destroy. It is no more complicated than this."



Produced by Greg Weeks, Roger L. Holda, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

A Republic Without a President

A Republic Without a President and Other Stories (1891) by Herbert D. Ward

UNPRECEDENTED CALAMITY!
AWFUL MYSTERY!
THE PRESIDENT AND HIS WIFE SPIRITED AWAY FROM
THE WHITE HOUSE!
TWO SERVANTS FOUND GAGGED!
NOT A TRACE OF THE DISTINGUISHED COUPLE!
THE COUNTRY AGHAST AT THE DREADFUL POSSIBILITIES
OF THIS DISAPPEARANCE!

Produced by V. L. Simpson, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team via The Internet Archive

Star Wars VNS remix

Art by CGVickers

Star Wars VNS remix by VladNS